Championship Week Takes

austincollieOkay, if the Patriots drop this Sunday’s AFC Championship Game, sending Peyton and the Broncos to the Super Bowl, I’ll be inconsolable. But hear me out– beyond the child-like disappointment which will overtake my very being should New England drop this game, we’ve got some serious OA takes on this weekend’s Championship games.

If the  Pats win, it will be because of Austin Collie.

I’m talking MONSTER game for Collie here. Peyton has Brady’s friend Wes Welker, but it will be Brady throwing to Peyton’s old safety valve, Austin Collie, which will kill Denver. Collie, who has been signed, cut, and re-signed three times this year by the Patriots, will get the last laugh in the Peyton-Brady rivalry, with five or six catches and a late touchdown. It will be the best game of Collie’s post-Colts career, and his late-game heroics will propel the Patriots to the Super Bowl. And you can book it.

The Blount will keep burning.

There’s obviously nothing on our beautiful blue Planet Earth capable of stopping LeGarrette Blount, and this simple law of nature will be borne out once again this Sunday afternoon. Blount will run through, around, and over everyone in orange, or blue, or whatever uniform color the Broncos are sporting. It’ll be a low-scoring game, largely hinging on field position and time of possession, and Blount will help tip the scales toward the Pats.

The 9ers will silence the 12th man (and all 11 others)

Not even the pumped-in crowd noise will be able to withstand the suffocating San Fransisco defense. Both of these teams piss me off for various reasons, but it’ll be that jerk Jim Harbaugh and Colin Kaepernick heading back to the Super Bowl after Sunday’s games are through. Pete Carroll can get his team all kinds of pumped and jacked, but it won’t be enough to get his  trendy, futuristic new NFL darlings over the hump. And the NHL tryout guy will be saying “Seahawks…Seahawks…I called your name, didn’t I?” And Russell Wilson will be like “No, no ya didn’t.”


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