Now, I was totally blindsided when I heard Lance Armstrong admit to performance-enhancing substance use. I figured for sure he was just crushing raw eggs and going for frequent jaunts around the neighborhood. But surely a man of faith like Ray Lewis, who came back from a torn triceps in less than three months, at the age of 37, is telling the truth when he says that no deer-antler spray was involved in his miraculous recovery.
No, certainly not this guy. Hey, he went to a nice hotel in 2010 and told a bunch of kids that they should’t do steroids! He’s not gonna go in front of his god and play in the Super Bowl having done something awful and lied about it, or something like that! How dare the media smear this man of such great integrity?! Did I mention he’s a man of faith?